Transformation is hard, the transition that leads to that transformation is harder but trying to resist the process of change is the hardest.

Although choosing to stay the same might look easier, but eventually when life gets you to a point where the pain of staying the same becomes too great, you will have no choice but to change, grow and transform. At that point your life, your survival, your future, even your generations to come depend on it.

You will be squeezed, crushed, turned, twisted, marred, reduced, expanded and then “kicked out” of that place you’ve settled in, because the butterfly needs to emerge out of the caterpillar.

The reason we dread change so much is not that we do not want to transform, to upgrade to a higher level of ourselves and to move to the next level of ourselves and our lives. It is the darkness and uncertainty we fear, the limbo, the in-between, the transition when nothing makes sense, where everything is unfamiliar, uncomfortable and unexplainable.

So we keep aborting the process, we take steps forward, thinking we would go straight from one level to another, so when instead of solid ground after lifting our legs from the lower level, we find ourselves in this space that seems like a vacuum, where sometimes it feels like you’re free falling, and other times it feels like you’re being sucked in by quicksand, we run.

A lot of us run out of that space, out of the limbo, out of the transition and back into the comfort of where we were coming from, into the life and pain we are familiar with, even when we know our time in that place, space, mindset, thought process, pain etc has long expired.

We then do the cowardly thing to do, we negotiate downwards with ourselves, we look at the familiarity, and list off all the reasons why we should stick to the comfortable or familiar zone we know, even when it is threatening our lives, future and purpose, though we don’t call it “sticking to the comfort or familiar zone”, we call it “common sense” to feel justified in our decision to stay down there.

The reason we dread change so much is not that we do not want to transform…it is the darkness and uncertainty we fear, the limbo, the in-between, the transition when nothing makes sense…

Common sense is necessary to make daily decisions and go through life as properly as we can, but at this point, we are not exercising common sense, we are implicating common sense and making it a cover up for “coward sense.”

A lot of us do not do this downward negotiation consciously, it is usually the subconscious that is doing it and making that decision for us.

That’s why self awareness is so important, you must get to know yourself intimately, spend time in quietness observing your mind work, spend time reflecting and introspecting, so your conscious mind is aware to an extent of what your subconscious is doing.

When you choose to consciously engage with the transition process, when you understand that like the corn, the darkness and discomfort of the transition is necessary, that the seed might die and rise up as multiple cobs of corn, when you trust that it is in the darkness you discover the light you need to navigate through life, and in the uncertainty, you learn the power of faith that can move anything, you make the process a bit tolerable and you are able to withstand the shocks and adversities that must come as you make your way through.

Let this truth be your comfort through the process; that it will end, that the wilderness is for a season, and that on the other side of every painful or tough transformation process is power, beauty and a dimension of thinking, processing, seeing and doing that you would not have known existed where you were before.

Common sense is necessary to make daily decisions and go through life as properly as we can, but at this point, we are not exercising common sense, we are implicating common sense and making it a cover up for “coward sense.”

The process is hard, painful and can be mind bending but the product, the result, the change in your mindset, the metamorphosis in your beliefs, the increase in your capacity, the courage to dare dream and demand bigger from life, the expansion and flexibility in your thought process, the ability of your mind, the strength of your spirit, the deep rooted confidence and unshakable faith you acquire, the recreation of your entire inner being,

Especially the scars, each one of them represents courage, resilience through the process and wisdom that arises from the journey. Those scars eventually become polished and shine like stars.

When you choose to consciously engage with the transition process…you make the process a bit tolerable and you are able to withstand the shocks and adversities that must come as you make your way through.

So when growth comes knocking, answer its call.

You will know it is growth calling because it will demand of you a level of trust and courage you’ve not had hitherto, and if you don’t answer its call, it will only keep knocking until the pain of remaining the same, of staying where you are eventually becomes unbearable because;

The “legs of the caterpillar” must give way for the “wings of the butterfly.”

The process is hard, painful and can be mind bending but…everything on the other side of the process is beautiful, even the scars you acquired in the process…each one of them represents courage, resilience through the process and wisdom that arises from the journey.

Elizabeth A. Ibiloye.

#musingsofelizabeth 
#embracechange
#transformation
#metamorphosis 
#growth