It used to be so hard for me to differentiate between joy and happiness. I knew the theoretical definition, that happiness is conditional on happenings, while joy is unconditional and a fruit of the Holy Spirit. However, I could not really say I knew the practical difference between the two. I think when things are going well, it is easy to think the happiness we are experiencing is joy, but I have come to realize that the greatest evidence of joy is found when things are not going well.

My first encounter with pure joy was when I got to a place where I was literally at the bottom of the barrel, and I had nowhere to turn but inwards and find strength in God and keep asking Him to fill me up. When the Holy Spirit started to work, I literally felt indescribable joy despite my worsening situation.

Joy is something else. I really cannot explain it and truly it has to be given by God’s Spirit. I had a sense of “wow” so this is what they have been talking about. I call it the Holy Spirit “high” and I was able to come to an understanding of the difference in how joy feels from happiness. From that time, I knew that I could never give up joy for happiness, rather I would keep asking that God adds happiness to my joy.

However, the focus of this article is an area God has been explaining to me, and that is understanding the difference between something being expensive and something being unaffordable. That day during my quiet time with God, He said to me, Ayooluwa when you think of something as expensive, then it is possible for you to still think you might be able to afford or purchase it, even if you have to sell off something(s) to attain it. He then said that is why people can sell off their properties or valuables to buy something they consider worth it irrespective of how expensive it is. Ultimately, they have a means of affording or paying for it, even if it will require losing things or borrowing from others.

However, when something becomes unaffordable to you, you understand that irrespective of how much it is, you cannot pay the price. You either can never have the means to or what you would have to sell off or give to get it is a no go area. He said think of it like being asked to sell your child to obtain a house, is that even possible? If a person can do that, then I don’t need anyone to tell me the state of the person’s heart.

I began to reflect deeply on it and I saw what He was telling me was that if I did not understand this vital difference, then I could get to points in my life where I would be willing to sell off my joy and purpose for the sake of happiness and comfort. I may consider the price expensive but still affordable, and so even if there was some unfulfillment attached to selling it, I may still end up doing it. However, if I get to a place within me where I understood that I was not created by God to just be comfortable and happy, where I understood that there is a purpose that I was created for and that my pleasure should be found in that purpose, then I understand that whatever requires giving up that purpose or losing my joy over is unaffordable.

The reality is we have a God who is interested in our happiness and He controls all the resources necessary to bring us what we desire materially but He wants us to have peace while having them. He wants us to get to a point where we rely on Him for joy and we are committed to doing His will. He really doesn’t want us to be at a point where we strive for “happy things” while not being really happy.

He doesn’t want things to have us, he wants us to have them.

I know it is getting harder these days with social media bombardment of people doing well, people wearing the latest stuff and looking put together, but I think the highest of human experience is one that is journeyed on the path of God’s vision for us. It loosens you from attachment to “happy things” which then frees you up for joy and purpose. It brings you to a place where you are grounded and the house or shoe of the next person does not really register in your head, so you do not live an exhausting life of comparison. It brings you to a place where your life is lived for an audience of One and the beautiful thing about this One is that He adds every other thing to you.

I have come to understand the difference between expensive and unaffordable and I know the things in my life that fall into each of those categories and I keep pruning the list daily by the help of God’s spirit to ensure I do not mix up one for the other.

My sincere hope for everyone reading this is that you come into alignment with God and discover what His joy feels like. I also pray that anyone reading this who is tired of keeping up appearances just to look happy and wants to know what joy and walking in purpose feels like, is met by God in that place of struggle and brought into the deeper sense of joy and fulfillment, and most of all, I pray for clarity that everyone would be able to determine what should be on the expensive list and what should be on the unaffordable list.

SHALOM.