The day I totally lost the fear of “what will people say” was the day I discovered the intensity of authentic power. Although the switch looked like it happened in one day, it really was the culmination of series of events and the decision to face the reality that these people I was so worried about would carry on with their lives irrespective, and so one day, it became clear to me that I will never give more weight to what people will say versus what is best for my soul.
The day I stopped allowing the opinions of people matter so much was the day I started to discover the loudness of the still small voice that lived on my inside.
The realization of how much external noise and filters affected my ability to communicate authentically with my inner guide was so profound that it became clear that people were entitled to their opinion but I was much more entitled to accept or reject that opinion.
But my biggest breakthrough came
The day I decided I would stop being a people pleaser! That was one of the hardest decisions for me to make, because at my core, I enjoy doing things for people but I had to draw a line, because people pleasing will have you continuously morphing yourself into something else just to please others, and if you end up in the hands of people who take advantage of that, it is only a matter of time before you morph into something or someone that even you cannot recognize, in order to meet their selfish agenda, essentially you become a “shadow of your former self.”
I have and I am still learning to find the balance between helping people and enabling people, between giving and receiving, between saying yes and saying no etc.
At the end of the day, no one can choose you better than you choose yourself, no one can value you better than you value yourself, no one can treat you better than you treat yourself.
You set the standard for how you are treated.
If you find yourself in a situation where you are consistently mistreated, perhaps it is time to do a life audit. It is time to take your focus off the person(s) who is mistreating you and start to ask yourself;
“How may I have contributed to this situation?”
“Where did I set the bar for acceptable treatment?”
“What makes it possible for me to attract such situation?”
“How have I enabled such person(s)?”
“Where did I fail to set a boundary or draw a line?”
“What insecurity or fear caused me to continously accept such treatment?”
“What red flags or warning signs did I miss or ignore?” etc
It is in the answer to these questions that you find the solution.
It is in taking responsibility for your role in how your life has been overwhelmed by people’s actions, behaviors, opinions and expectations that you begin to “reclaim your life.”
When you finally decide to deliver yourself from people.
Your life becomes much more peaceful, healthy and purposeful.
You stop worrying.
Your thoughts, patterns and behaviors begin to occur on such a high positive vibrational frequency that toxic people have no choice but to draw back or fall off because they simply cannot function properly on a positive clean wavelength.
Best of all, you start to truly enjoy your life irrespective of challenges, you start to feel the beauty in life irrespective of the ugly, you approach things with zeal and my own personal experience and favorite, you “fall in love with Mondays”
P.S: to fall in love with Mondays is to find purpose, meaning and service in the work you do, no matter how tough or challenging.